Well, I’m back in Ithaca after a weekend in Baltimore for a fancy schmancy wedding for Beth’s second cousin. It was a very nice wedding and the reception was extremely nice, at a hotel by the inner harbor in Baltimore. Rather intimidating in many respects, though, since it was on a rather larger budget than ours is going to be and also rather more meticulously planned than ours may end up being. But it was very nice. I think that when you get married and you’re in your 40s, however, people tend to expect you to throw a rather more extensive party.
We were actually a little late to the church, which turned out to be ok because one of the shuttle busses full of the groom’s relatives had been very delayed in traffic (partly because they were filming a movie in Baltimore this weekend, as they often do). The wedding itself was very simple and nice and then afterwards Beth and I drove back to her place and walked down to the hotel. In the parking garage where she parks her car a couple told us that we looked “very dapper”, which we had to admit that we did
While Beth’s immediate family is very small, once you reach second cousins it starts getting rather large, and this wedding included the majority of those, so it was fun to get to meet a lot of them, many of whom seem like a lot of fun and very nice. I don’t think we’re going to be able to invite any of them to our wedding, unfortunately (since we’d then have to invite them all, and that would add a block of ten or something, including spouses), but it’s possible that we’ll end up seeing some of them from time to time.
Beth and I even ended up dancing some, which is certainly the first time that’s ever happened. This was obviously helped by the rather copious quantities of alcohol that were consumed by all parties present, and I think that I’m still glad we’re not having a dancing section for our wedding. But it was fun to see everyone having such a good time.
The reception was only marred by one thing, really, which is still disturbing me even now. The grandmother of the bride did much of the raising of Dorrie (the bride) owing to some complications that her mother has had. Ruth (the grandmother) has for forty-odd years had a gardener come and help out with things and in more recent years he has helped by driving her places (since she’s now in her 90s). Since Frank (the gardener) has known Dorrie since she was a baby, he and his wife were invited to the wedding and reception. Frank and his wife are African-American. They were, apparently, somewhat delayed in getting to the reception, and there was some concern about why they hadn’t shown up. Eventually Dorrie managed to get in touch with them on the phone and found out that they had in fact shown up at the hotel but had been told that this was not the correct place. Frank had even shown them the invitation for the reception but as I understand it, they’d been told that they weren’t supposed to be there, or something like that. My knowledge of the details is not terribly great, but it’s pretty clear that this wasn’t just an innocent mistake. Frank and his wife were, understandably, very upset, and had wanted to go home rather than try to return, I think, but I am reasonably confident that Dorrie is not going to let this just sort of peter out.
Part of me is wondering whether I’m just an incredibly sheltered person, living in a bubble where things like this don’t happen and that this isn’t as rare as all that? But even if that’s the case, that doesn’t make it alright! I’m pretty strongly outraged, as was everyone else who heard about it. I don’t know if Dorrie and Kevin are on a honeymoon right now, but given everything I’ve seen of her personality (in how she dealt with the wedding and everything) I don’t see her as just letting this drop. I feel like this has the makings of a pretty serious lawsuit, to be honest, but again, maybe that’s just me and my sheltered world-view? I know that Baltimore is much more of a Southern city than one might think, based on where it is geographically, but again, that doesn’t make it ok.