Because Dan said so…

So last week I met up with Susan and finally got to meet her mysterious boyfriend Ian, who has been away in Japan. We were going to go bowling but owing to the closing of the UMD bowling facility over winter break, we instead went to The Spirit. What follows is a sort of mini review (what I wrote for a discussion thread of a message board I frequent).

The constant feeling I had during the whole movie was “What the FUCK?” I think the movie is really best summarized by the five minute long slugging it out between The Spirit and The Octopus at the beginning of the movie. In a giant pool of mud. At the moment when The Octopus smashes a toilet down over The Spirit’s head and says “Come on! Toilets are always funny!”

It certainly doesn’t take itself too seriously. And there are definitely stunningly beautiful women in it. And the scene of Samuel L Jackson dressed up as a SS officer is wildly surreal, if nothing else.  And some of the surreal nature of the dialog (or monolog, as it sometimes is) is wildly entertaining. Like when our hero wakes up tied to a chair and says: “What smells dental? (looking up and seeing a nazi flag) Dental and Nazi. Great.”

But while that’s funny and over the top, it’s not enough to make for a good movie. Or even a mediocre one. Ultimately, I kept wondering whether it was all a giant joke, at the viewers’ expense. I felt like I was watching Glen or Glenda, or possibly Bride of the Monster. Yes, in many ways the movie felt as much like Ed Wood as Robert Rodriguez (for all the people who were expecting Sin City 1.5). And isn’t that a disturbing thought?

Quite frankly, what it made me feel most of all is that Frank Miller should go back to writing graphic novels like “The Dark Knight Returns” and “Sin City” and leave movie directing to people more capable of it. Because while he may be talented at some things, making movies clearly isn’t one of them.